Date: Monday, May 2nd.
I was woken up at 7.30am – I was worried at first as I didn’t know who it was – but it was my partner of course! After a few moments I went back to sleep again to wake up myself at 8am. I did have a dream and it was weird – I got a little anxious as I couldn’t remember it. I remember having to do a puzzle and having to find people with a certain number.
Today’s the day we go food shopping – we would have gone yesterday but we couldn’t because there was an event going on. Anyway, so I went into the kitchen and that’s when my OCD kicked in. I normally check my tablet when I get up in the morning and I couldn’t find my hand sanitiser. (I have tons!). I looked at my hands and then quickly ran to the toaster to make myself some toast. Five minutes later – pop. Now time to take it out of the toaster – another quick look at my hands as I’d been on my tablet – again.
Now I check the knife and then butter and put Marmite on my toast. Now one last check before I sit down and eat my breakfast. After that task is done, it’s time to get ready.
Getting ready isn’t difficult except one part – but I won’t go into that. Too personal.
So it’s now 9.15am and I’m in the car ready to go food shopping.
I get through that part relatively fine and then we head back home to unpack.
My anxiety tells me I need to go out again. I don’t know why but we decided to do a bit of window shopping. It’s my birthday next week so that’s my justification.
We head out again and around half an hour later we are back.
I’m still anxious and I don’t know why. I can’t put my finger on it. Maybe it’s the news show that I’m presenting tomorrow? Maybe it’s having 2 deadlines this week? I’m not entirely sure but I try to brush it off by watching the new Game of Thrones episode with my partner.
That takes the thoughts away, but throughout I’m anxious with some of the scenes. I know I have a nervous disposition and some scenes make me anxious.
Dinner time. It’s late but I get to eat soup and giraffe bread. Again I check my hands multiple times and the cutlery too. But it’s all good.
Next I go and have a relaxing bath. I look at potential birthday treats for an hour and a half. I have some obsessive thoughts but I’m surrounded by water so there’s no need to check my hands.
I get out the bath at 5pm and I spend some time with my partner before I continue writing my essays.
Now it’s blog writing time.
Today hasn’t really been that much of a difficult day for my anxiety-related OCD as it comes in peaks and troughs. How are you feeling today?