I’m not going to sit here and say that I’ve always been on the straight and narrow road to recovery. The road to recovery has its twists and turns and recently I’ve cemented my belief that my mental health problems are me- but that I am not my mental health problems.
Mental health problems can be a pain because I am battling my mind everyday – checking, trying not to think of things after I’ve done them…the list goes on. Everyone has days like this – the “off days” as I call them. Then we all have good days where we may feel better in ourselves.
Off days can come around far too often though and they can cloud how we feel about ourselves. It can have a negative impact and we may get bogged down.
But I came to this conclusion after a bit of thinking as I was walking into university.
I was thinking of my life before my mental health problems and now.
There’s some differences, but I’m still me – I still have characteristics and personality traits that I’ve always had, but some of them have moved on and been replaced by new ones – my mental health problems and their traits.
Is that a bad thing? Yes – and no.
My personality has been much more affected by my mental health problems, but I am still Sophie. I’m still the person I was a few years back in terms of my personality. My looks have changed of course, but that’s “normal.”
I guess, I’ve just got some “abnormal” personality traits now, unfortunately.
Now, if we look at the other side of the coin: but I am not my mental health.
My mental health problems are a part of me and they have been since 2013, but they are not me entirely. Beyond my mental health problems I am still a person. I’m still a person with mental health problems, I may add!
I still have feelings, thoughts, ideas, hopes, dreams, ambitions, fears and regrets – and they are all part of me too.
So I’m not just made up of my mental health problems.
I am more than them and it’s taken me a while to realise. I’m more than the label.
It is my anxiety and my OCD, but I am more than them.