My 2015 Mental Health Journey.

a journalism students-12

Well 2015, it’s been a year of ups and downs with my mental health journey. I’ve won sometimes, I lost other times but you haven’t beaten me and you won’t.

I started the year on a high. I loved my social work course and I was doing well. I wasn’t feeling that anxious and my OCD was “okay”.

Come March, my mental health problems were letting their mouths go again and giving me silly thoughts. I was having second thoughts about carrying on with my degree. They were giving me horrible thoughts about placement and I decided to get help from disability support. Something they made me do.

I tussled with my thoughts and wanted to change to a sociology degree. After all I enjoyed the subject when I did it on my social work degree and I was good at it. I am good at it. But the stigma said “no” and they won, this time.

I then asked to be put onto the journalism course. This was what I wanted. I wouldn’t let my mental health problems win this time. By this time it was May and I carried on with the rest of my social work course so I could finish it.

I finished it and I got a first. That was my two fingers up to my mental health problems.

But the battle was just beginning. Now I needed to prove that I had mental health problems. I needed to prove that they weren’t fake and that what was in my head was real. Well the thoughts aren’t rational, but you know what I mean!

I had to find out what mental health problems I had and it was one of the hardest parts of my journey. I had to go to the doctors and tell him about my symptoms. The first time I went didn’t go to well – a lot of stigma.

The second time went much better. But I had to wait for a letter to say that I could go onto the journalism course. To prove that I was “fit to practice”. It scared me.

The process had taken five months up to this point and I was sick of being in limbo. It was a hard summer for me but I battled my mental health on my internship and I felt proud.

July came with some anxiety but I got my diagnosis of anxiety related OCD (social anxiety, health anxiety and OCD).

I found out in August that I’d gotten onto the journalism course after a long…wait. Hurrah! I’d won this time and I was going to continue winning.

Health anxiety has taken it’s toll on me from September but I didn’t let it beat me and I haven’t since. It’s still there but it won’t win. Ever.

In December I was told that people have seen a change in me. I look “brighter” and “happier” and it’s showing in the way I walk and talk apparently too!

My mental health has improved this year with a few dips along the road. But they haven’t beaten me. I’m still fighting. I will keep fighting into 2016. Onwards and upwards in my recovery journey!

YPE

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4 comments

  1. Hi there – congratulations on your successes this year! It’s good to read that things are ending on a positive note, all the best in 2016!

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    1. Hi! Thank you, I appreciate your congratulations! All the best to you too!

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  2. Congratulations on such a successful year and not letting your mental health problems hold you back. I also have OCD which became so severe last year when I had a nervous breakdown that I was doing crazy OCD checking rituals 10 hours a day till 5am in the morning. Today through therapy and medication I have almost totally recovered from the OCD and all my other mental health problems and I am happier than I have ever been! http://bit.ly/1ER5cLY

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you! I’m sorry to hear that but I’m glad you are getting better. I’ve had therapy but it didn’t work so I’ve recovered on my own which has been hard but I’m on the right road. Not fully recovered but I will be. I’m glad you are happy now!

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