Mental health problems can be inconsistent for many of us. They can range in severity and symptoms can come and go, with new ones taking their place. Mental health problems can change day-to-day, they are uncertain. One day I can be fine and the next I could be really anxious and my OCD could be worse. I can have “blips” as I call them.
Thoughts can pop into my head at any moment and I’ll become preoccupied with them, I’ll become unsettled and anxious. It happened to me on Bank Holiday Monday and undoubtedly it will happen again at some point this week. I don’t doubt it. I know that the thoughts will come, I just don’t know when which is the sad part. It’s uncontrollable.
I feel that people don’t understand that my mental health can vary from day-to-day. Or people don’t understand that recovery can take a short while or can take years. I can now do some stuff that I couldn’t do months ago. And that’s great. But some people have said that it’s a fast recovery time. That I was lying. That hurts.
You wouldn’t say that to someone who may have sustained a major injury, so why say it to someone with mental health problems. It really does affect me when people say that I could be faking my mental health problems. Why would I? The fact is, I wouldn’t. Mental health problems affect us daily. They may not always show, but they are constantly there. Waiting. Wanting to creep up on us when we least expect it. They show up at the moments when we really don’t want them too!
Like I said, mental health problems can change, just like the weather. From sunshine to rain and in between. We can’t tell what we are going to be like day-to-day. I would even go as far as to say, we don’t know what we are going to be like hour to hour. It all depends on so many things. For me, if I’m “stressed” then my anxiety and OCD is heightened. If I’m unwell then my anxiety and OCD is worse. There are so many triggers but we may not come across our triggers in our day-to-day life. One day we might, the next we might not. It is dependent. That’s why mental health problems are so complex.
I know I keep saying that mental health differs from day-to-day, but I want people to understand. It is hard not knowing how you are going to feel when you wake up. It makes me anxious thinking about it. I can change how I feel by using my coping methods, but I can’t change it at the same time because it’s my brain playing tricks as usual. It’s like a monster sometimes and I hate it. It plagues you.
I hope this has given you some understanding of mental health problems and what it’s like.