With anxiety comes insecurity. With insecurity comes low confidence. With low confidence comes isolation. I won’t let my anxiety get that far, but today I experienced something that lowered my confidence a lot. When my confidence takes a knock, it is knocked a lot. And it’s unfortunate. I don’t have a lot of confidence, even though it looks like it. I try to look confident, but it doesn’t work when you don’t feel it inside.
Anxiety makes you worry a lot. Excessively. Couple that with OCD and it makes it worse, because you become obsessive over it. You can’t control others behaviour, but you can control yours. I had an anxiety attack this morning over something and it led me to make a comment that I’m not proud of. I apologised but it still doesn’t stop the worrying.
I’ve always been open about my ambitions and my goals, but today I was too open and I regret that. I came back on me and I feel spiteful. When you have low confidence you say things like ‘I wish it was me’, because you do. You want that boost of confidence. It can make you look selfish. That’s something I’m not. I think of others before myself, but today my anxiety got the better of me.
I think anxiety, insecurity and confidence are inherently linked unfortunately. They come with one another or at least with me they do.
I thought I’d write this blog post, to give you an insight into an anxiety attack that has lasted for a few hours now.