How are you? is a question that we ask people everyday, in passing, in face to face communication, on the phone, via text and social media. The question is omnipresent. Those three words can open up a big conversation or offer us a gesture or a simple reply like ‘I’m fine’ or ‘okay’. Do we always say how we really feel or do we avoid our feelings and mask them with a neutral reply? I’d agree with both of those statements. I’m guilty of saying the above, even when I’m not always feeling fine. But why do we do it? That’s the bigger question.
Ask yourself how you are, right now. I’m feeling happy, feeling sick, nervous, relaxed…I could go on. I don’t ever feel just one feeling. So when we say we are ‘fine’ or ‘okay’, are we really? Most times we probably are, but I know that we’ve all been asked that question and we’ve replied neutrally when we’ve actually got something on our minds. I think we avoid it because we are afraid of the outcome, fear drives our decisions, even if we don’t think about it. We don’t want the hassle maybe? Or we haven’t got time to talk about what is troubling us? We make excuses in our minds. If you really think about it.
Those words are really powerful together. As I mentioned before, they can open up a big conversation. I don’t see this often enough unfortunately. If we really stopped and asked someone how they were actually feeling then maybe it would happen a lot more. If we accepted our feelings and told people. It’s rather idealistic I know, but we ask this question everyday – so it is reality, we just need to make the answer real.
So next time you ask someone or even yourself how you are – think about it and reply honestly. It is harder than it sounds I know, but I’m sure it’ll help. So everyone how are you?