Life growing up for me was filled with a lot of happy times don’t get me wrong; holidays, Christmases and birthdays were great! Those were special times though and it didn’t take away the fact that I had parents with mental health problems. Both my father and mother had depression, though luckily not at the same time.
My mother had depression for a period of a year or so, she was really unhappy. She just didn’t seem to enjoy life any-more. We later found out that she was unhappy being with my dad, I’d rather not share that story though, too dark. I remember it being a year before she announced that she wanted to divorce my dad, which would have been 2009. I was 14 at the time. All I remember from that dark period of family life was wrapping up my own Christmas presents. Knowing I’d gotten my DS and all my games filled me with excitement, but it crushed me inside too. I had to act surprised on Christmas Day, as my mum was unable to remember me wrapping them on Christmas Eve.
My dad had depression after my mother left him, on Valentines Day in 2010, when I was 15. That was hard, to see my dad so unhappy. I decided to stay with him, in the house I’d grown up in, I didn’t want to move and didn’t agree with what my mum had done. I was 15, confused and didn’t really understand, not really. I was happy though, as there would be no more arguments. I started looking after my sister then, I almost stepped up to be a “mother” towards her, it was natural for me to do that. Fortunately, now both my parents are in better places. My mother is happy and my dad is happy too, though life is still hard as my dad still has “down” moments.
I thought I’d share this, just as a reflection on my life, for my closure. It was a dark time and hopefully if other people read this, then they can find closure too, if they have or are experiencing this at the moment.